Daily Jokes

Motorway Services Prank

I called at the motorway services this morning and picked up a sandwich, a pork pie, a mars bar and a cup of tea.

“I’m sorry”, I said to the lady on the till as I approached “I only have a twenty pound note”.  ”That’s OK” she replied “Just put the mars bar back”

Prank Calls

Arrived home to find a pretty woman grouting the bathroom walls & singing “It’s a heartache, nothing but a fools game!”

I thought to myself she’s a BONNIE TILER !!

Prank Calls

Picked up this bird in the pud last night, told her I was going to make love to her in the kitcher, living room, bathrooms & bedroom.

She was well up for it saying “wow, you must have some serious stamina!!”

She seemed a bit disappointed when we got back to the caravan.

I went on a shopping spree.

First I went too boots to buy sum boots, they said we don’t do them.

I then fancied a curry so wen to currys to find out they dont do them.

So I went to virgin megastore and don’t even get me started on what a disappointment that was.

Prank Calls

Adele and Lily Allen love prank calling other musicians by pretending to be little boys.


The two stars both have a wicked sense of humour and enjoy making people
squirm. Their favourite trick is to dial other celebrities in the music business
late at night and put on strange voices, which Adele revealed Lily is
surprisingly good at. Unfortunately, Lily is also good at heaping all the blame
on Adele.

“Lily can’t ever keep quiet and tells everyone it’s me who leads her on to do
them. It’s not me it’s her, she is so naughty,” Adele laughed.

“We have called [singer-songwriter] Sam Sparro and pranked him. It was late
and I was drunk. I don’t remember a lot of it. Lily does a very good
impersonation of an eight-year-old boy. Mine isn’t so good.”

The two stars chose to pretend to be a little boy because they knew it would
be disconcerting. People never expect someone so young to be calling them at
night and usually have no idea how to handle the problem.

Adele added the pair usually end up giving themselves away because they can’t
keep straight faces for long.

“People get concerned when a child is on the phone but they soon realise it’s
a joke. Usually because we both keep giggling,” she added to British newspaper
The Sun.

Pilgrimages to Bin Laden’s grave have started

Daughter: Hey mum, me and my boyfriend are going to my bedroom.

Mum: Ok, just don’t do anything stupid.

Mum hears her daughter screaming baaaby baaaby baaaby ooohhh!!!

Mum rushes upstairs. Mum: What are you doing??

Daughter: Get out mum, we are having sex.

Mum: Oh! Thank God. I thought you were listening to Justin Bieber

Prank Calls

Just had a letter from Screw Fix. Apparently its not a dating agency

Prank Calls

1 – FINE

A word used to end an arguement when she knows she is RIGHT and YOU need to SHUT up.

2 – NOTHING

Means SOMETHING and YOU need to be WORRIED.

3 – GO AHEAD

This is a dare, not permission, do NOT do it.

4 – WHATEVER

A way of say SCREW YOU

5 – THAT’S OK

She is thinking long and hard on HOW & WHEN you will pay for your mistake.

Prank Calls

It didn ‘ t take long …

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